Updated: Feb 13
Why is it, when ever I think of a title of a blog, I spend the rest of the day humming the tune?
The Power of Love, Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Anyway...
14th February--Valentine’s Day—a day to celebrate love and perhaps exchange cards and gifts with your loved ones. It wasn’t until I read an article on History.com that I discovered how long this tradition has been around. Check out History.com if you are interested in finding out more.
As a young girl, I remember the thrill and excitement that used to be in the air when Valentine’s Day fell on a school day. Secret admirers left cards and gifts on classroom tables to be discovered by their potential love interests. However, a feeling of disappointment and rejection would follow me around for the rest of the day, when my classroom table remained devoid from a red, handwritten envelope sent by an Admirer. Over the years, I grew quite blasé about the day and it wasn’t until I was in my early twenties, that I received my first card from a secret admirer, although I was living with somebody at the time, and it caused a bit of a stir.
Dear St Valentine…why was I not encouraged to send a card to myself? Not to pretend I had a secret admirer…it would be a reminder that self-love is the foundation towards building a happy life. It’s ok to put your needs first—it’s so important to learn to love and respect yourself if you want it reciprocated. Perhaps it’s only my experience at school that has left this day of celebration slightly tainted.
My husband and I exchange cards each year and we cook a special meal, but I don’t need this day to remind me that he loves me. The little things he does for our family each day demonstrates his love and kindness. However, there may come a time in your life, perhaps when the children get older and become more independent, or your relationship has lost its spark, self-doubts can set in. This is certainly the case for Maggie, in Love is Crystal Clear. She is going through her menopause and being a wife and mother is no longer enough for her. Through this transitioning period, she reaches out for help from her friend, who gentle encourages her to voice her concerns with her husband and seek advice. This leads to a journey of self-discovery and self-love. Although you will have to read the book to find out what happens with her marriage…a story that will resonate with many readers.
What could I bring into my life to help focus on what I want? My self-love…
Even though I write about the power of crystals in Love is Crystal Clear, I am no expert. I decided to reach out to two women who are. I wanted to discover how to use the power of crystals in order to help in matters of love.
Firstly, I contacted Daya, who founded the Glastonbury Tantric Temple in 2011. She is a modern day sacred sexual healer and offers sacred sexual tantric healing. Tantra is all about breaking down the goal orientated focus of sex; it focuses on connection and enjoyment of the sexual journey and sensations of the body, where the end goal is not orgasm.
I mentioned that I had referred to crystal dildos in my book and we spoke about Chakrubs, founded by Vanessa Cuccia. I was familiar with them as I researched them for my novel, but only through reading reviews and articles online.
They are described on Daya’s website https://www.glastonburytantrictemple.com as
‘A collection of sexual healing tools that enable you to awaken deeper levels of intimacy within yourself and your beloved.’
We may be familiar with sex toys that come in all shapes and sizes and run off batteries, but I was curious to discover the power of these beautiful wands that come in a variety of pure crystals with different healing qualities.
I posed the question ‘How do they work? How do they support self-love and are there specific ones that can be used when going through different phases of your life, such as the menopause?’
"That’s a wonderful question, thank you for asking me about the purpose of these divine crystals, beyond sexual pleasure and orgasm."
"In my opinion, self-love and self-care are just as important as orgasm in love making, because as women, we can often override our true desires or not even know what we want in the bedroom. Many of us have been conditioned throughout our youth to perform in sex, rather than to tenderly discover what pleases us.
This has to be one of the joys of the peri-menopause /menopause times, as we generally feel less driven by sex and inclined to a more authentic expression of our sexuality.
Connecting with your own crystal wand is a key to discovering more rhythmical pleasure. By this, I mean that the crystal will support you no matter how aroused you are feeling. It doesn’t require you to be turned on, and as it’s not preprogramed with pleasure cycles that are alien to your body. You can simply hang out with your wand as intimately as you choose.
I often encourage women to firstly make friends with their crystal wand, enjoy its beauty or how it feels to hold, then move on to experience the sensual connection with your body, perhaps by sleeping with it. Only when you truly feel the desire for more, would I suggest that you play with a more arousing focus.
I’m also delighted to share that our crystal wands come in different shapes and sizes and you can choose the crystal that most enhances your mood or healing journey. For example, menopausal women may prefer to befriend a rose quartz crystal wand as it will enhance this time of self-love."
Thank you Daya, I have learned something new and you have certainly changed my perception about crystal wands.
I then contacted Jenny Diment, Angel Reiki Master and owner of Pure Bliss Crystals and Holistic Wellbeing, to see if she could recommend crystals and essential oils that were beneficial for love and intimacy.
"There are all sorts of reasons why women and men tend to loose their passion and self-motivation for love. This is especially true when women are perimenopausal or going through the menopause, Autumn to Winter…"
She then went on to say...
"I decided to delve further into the healing power of crystals and essential oils and study how they can support these emotions. As I have been working with crystals & oils for years, I know they are a powerful, potent healing tool and can really help flip your funk. I have many crystals placed throughout my home, and have certainly benefitted from the frequency of energy omitted from crystals that I have placed around my boudoir—red jasper and rose quartz—to name but a few. I like to call them my sexy stones…
I have put together a selection of crystals for love and passion. Their healing energy, as part of a group of crystals, will help lift your vibration. Also, to celebrate love, I have blended an essential oil roller ball for passion, infused with chip stone crystal to heal you further. These oils can be used to apply a perfume on your pulse points, whereby the aroma will lift your emotion throughout the day. Alternatively, these are available as a bespoke massage oil should you wish to experience the effects of these oils with your partner."
If you would like to know more, then please visit Jenny’s Facebook Group
Pure Bliss Crystals and Holistic Healing
I may well have left it too late for this year’s Valentine’s Day, but I will certainly do some more research on the topic and keep you updated with my own journey with crystals. I can’t wait to get some sexy stones for my bedroom… and don’t forget,
Self-love is the foundation towards building a happier life.